TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY: New Chapters.

Ten years ago, life was good. I was 36. I had been married for 6 years. I was at Cisco for 7 years. I had a 3 year old daughter and a 2 year old son.

Then I felt a pea-sized mass. In that moment, a new chapter in my life instantly began. It started with panic, then tears, too much research, surgeries, recoveries, biopsy results, chemo, bounce backs, radiation, medications, prevention and along the way, lots of side effects.

Family bonds were tightened, friendships were tested and strengthened. I will never ever forget all those who lead me though my survivorship.

Four years ago, I took the preventative step of removing my ovaries, which meant instant and permanent menopause. It was the right decision for me because hormones played such a big part of my health. Now that I am completely post-menopausal, quality of life has genuinely improved.

This year, I completed a Genetic Consultation, followed by testing, and my results were NEGATIVE on all the genes tested. So much more research will be done, but for now this cancer does not look to have been passed down to me, nor will THIS cancer be passed down to future generations. But girls, STILL the biggest risk factor for breast cancer is BEING A FEMALE. You must be vigilant with your health, especially after age 26.

Now, a new page has turned. My cancer has remained in remission, the side effects are manageable and I have a full set of eyelashes again! Life is good.

SIX YEAR ANNIVERSARY: Still Learning...

This year has been an eye opener! Here's how it went down, so far..

In January, I saw my oncologist to discuss next steps.. she recommended that I have my ovaries/tubes removed, as a preventative measure, which would block the main source of estrogen (which influences cancer). I really wasn't ready for more medical intervention. During these last couple years, I've had 2 female procedures done because of hormone issues, toenails removed because of chemo, and endless Dr appointments and labs to diagnose all the joint swelling & pain. So I decided not to act on this recommendation right then.

In February, after 5 years of taking Tamoxifen, I took my last dose. I even stopped taking my meds for the inflammatory arthritis symptoms. Guess what, no arthritis pain! So, I learned from the internet that researchers discovered Tamoxifen DOES cause joint pain, and a good number of patients STOPPED taking the drug because of it! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.. I was relieved to FINALLY find a source to all the joint swelling/pain, but not too pleased that I was wasting so much time & money at the rheumatologist's office, and dumping a drug that I can't spell, into my body for these last few years.

In April, my hormones returned with a vengence. The moods, cramps and bloating were relentless. One breast hurt so much I would wake up at night when I turned over, or felt pain at the slightest touch, run or stomp. I tried Midol, Motrin, Tylenol, Advil & Pamprin with no relief. I ended up using Vicodin which basically knocked me out and I was able to sleep off the misery, and spare my family from my wrath. Mammograms & Ultrasounds were negative, so the lab techs thought it might be hormone issues.

In May, I asked my OB for relief.. during our visit, I had mentioned my Oncologist's suggestion of removing the ovaries, and she agreed to do it after her sabatical. So tomorrow, July 19, I will be put into instant permanent menopause. It's a tough thought, but having quality time with my family is worth it.

What a journey.

Five Year Anniversary: I'm a Survivor!

Even though it's been 5 years, the thoughts of cancer coming back haunts me every day.

I guess that's just how it is when you lived though diagnosis, treatment and follow-ups on the follow-ups! Next February I will finish my original treatment plan, which seems bitter-sweet. I wonder, was it enough? Although it will be nice to not be taking any more medications. Maybe I'll stop thinking about my cancer for a day, maybe not.

I reread my One Year Anniversary post, and that's still how I remember hearing those words, "cancer cells were found." Although, it's hard to believe Jacklynn was 3 years old and James was 2, way too young to have a Mom with cancer. I don't think they remember much from those days, which is a good thing. The part they do remember is the relationship they have with Winnie & Matthew, God bless them!

Physically my body is STILL making changes.. chemo/menopause side effects, some weight gain from medications, toenail damage, surgery sites still changing.. but it's all minor stuff. I'm curious to see what happens in February, when I go off Tamoxifen. I know it affects my hormones, and my foot doctor thinks my toe issues are related.. so we'll see!

I'll continue to update this blog as changes may happen.

~Christine

Three Year Anniversary: Better!

I recently celebrated my 3rd anniversary of breast cancer survival and it's bitter-sweet.

My Mom was just diagnosed with Stage 2 Breast Cancer. I can't emphasize enough, that early detection is key!!! And now with a strong family history of cancer, my daughter & niece MUST be diligent with their check-ups.

My Mom had a similar bumpy road start as I did. The initial diagnosis from her needle biopsy was NON-invasive ductal carcinoma, stage 0. She had surgery to remove the cells and the pathology report came back indicating it was invasive ductal carcinoma, stage 1. After my strong urging of her 1st oncologist (go figure, Kaiser) to check her lymph nodes, the pathology report stated that the cancer had invaded 2 of 4 lymph nodes, and put my Mom at Stage 2, which increases the odds of cancer spreading to other organs, requiring chemo and other treatments. My Mom is a very private person and hasn't really spoken much about this, except for a close friend & family.. so all I can ask is to please send positive thoughts her way!

As for my health, I've hit some rough patches, but nothing I can't handle..

After months of testing, last year I was finally diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis, which causes arthritis-like symptoms in various joints & spine. I'm now taking meds & it seems to be under control.

I thought I was in menopause.. but just short of 3 years, my body started changing on me again! My hormone levels are fluctuating and causing some issues, so my gyno & oncologist will be working together to determine a treatment plan. "this too, shall pass!"

In a few months I will be turning the big four-ohhhhhh.. I'm looking at this milestone birthday as a time to say adios to the uphill climb in my late 30s.. and "aloha" to a new decade of adventures!

Two Year Anniversary: Stronger

It has now been 2 years since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I am much stronger, physically and mentally.

I am in remission, but recurrence has been on my mind frequently, especially this month.

Lingering side effects of treatment still include issues with my toes and fingernails, and blood tests officially confirm I am in menopause (having hot flashes). My hair is still growing back and with some very persistent waves, but I’m not complaining!

This year my health took a minor detour and I was given a likely diagnosis of Crohns. For the past several months I have been taking Prednisone, a steroid to reduce inflammation, and am finally being weaned off of it. The main side effects are increased appetite (which resulted in weight gain) and night time restlessness (lack of sleep!).

Looking back over the last 2 years, what stands out to me most, are my relationships that are stronger because of what we went through together. I know who I can count on and who can count on me... and to never take those people for granted.

Herceptin Complete!

It has been approximately 6 months since I finished radiation.. Two weeks ago I had a clear mammogram and tonite during my final infusion, I was told that my MRI scans confirmed that my cancer is officially in remission!

Today was special. My final infusion was administered by Cathy, who was the same nurse who was with me during my first chemo treatments.. it was an amazing coincidence considering she works 2 days a week and I haven't seen her since early this year. I was also honored by having Winnie join me for this final treatment.. Here is a picture of Cathy, me & Winnie:

James is a medical assistant who kept me company during my treatments by telling me stories about his evenings out with his cousins and would bring me warm blankets that just melted me into the best naps. Here is a picture of James & me:

Currently, my body is acting menopausal/chemopausal (I am taking medication because the hot flashes were waking me up frequently during the nite), I still have a little numbness in parts of my toes and several of my finger/toenails are still slowly recovering.. my hair, brows & eyelashes keep growing back.. I'm becoming more & more like my old self!

Next Step:
Time to celebrate!!!

Next week I have my quarterly echocardiogram to check my heart, and then a followup with my Oncologist to find out my next step!

~Christine

One Year Anniversary: I'm a Lucky One

On Monday, July 18, 2005 at 3:15pm in the afternoon, I was told cancer cells were found in my right breast.

An afternoon that I will not soon forget.

My heart was beating hard and fast, and I couldn't control the tears flowing from my eyes. I remember the doctor talking, but I could only hear myself thinking "please shut up and just get it out." I don't want to die, my kids still need me.
I called my husband, Kris, and told him between sobs, "I need you to come here, I have cancer." I can't imagine what he must have been feeling when I said those words.

It's been an amazing journey. One that I wish nobody would have to endure. I have been gifted with loving friends and family who offered their support from the very beginning. I learned what some friendships are capable of overcoming. I have even been lucky enough to grow new friendships along the way.

I was honored to have special friends and family celebrate my one year anniversary on July 18, 2006 by having a Pot Luck Dessert. How sweet it was! Even though we were in the beginning of a heatwave, just about everyone was able to come, making the party a complete success. I certainly felt the love.

I didn't take nearly enough pictures of the celebration, but at least here's one showing some of the desserts:

Here's a picture of Charlotte, all dressed up with a few unique gifts.
A very special breast cancer survivor gave me the shirt, and Chevron's 2005 Breast Cancer Awareness car was given to me by Paula.

The celebrations will keep coming in the near future as I am getting closer to finishing up my Herceptin infusions (still set to conclude in November).

With Love,

~Christine

Update: June 14, 2006

It’s been almost 2 months after the (big) treatments and all is going very well. My body has almost completely recovered. My weight is back up to where it was last summer, but I’m starting to slowly work on it.

I’ve heard/read there are several factors for weight gain during this time:

- menopause causes metabolism to drop;
- for unknown reasons, most patients gain weight while taking Tamoxifen;
- and most importantly it’s my lack of exercise!

I guess I’m lucky that I haven’t gained a tremendous amount, but it is still is a bummer after seeing my weight drop duing chemo, then have it all return.

I really appreciate all the recent celebrations, especially my special trip to Georgia. I’ve posted some pictures below. My next milestone will be this fall when I complete my last Herceptin treatment.

Here are some more celebration pics (and you can see I have a LITTLE more hair!) :)

Florence, Matthew, Winnie & Me on May 23, 2006

Chenoa, Me & Lia on May 29, 2006

~Christine

Update: May 11, 2006

It's been just over a month since I finished the big treatments..

All the burns have gone away, so it's actually like a faded tan at this point; barely noticeable.

The stiffness in my joints has subsided and feeling has returned to my fingers and in all, but 1 of my toes!

Mentally I'm feeling sharp again, I'm not losing things like I was and I'm able to remember more than 3 items from my grocery list!

..and as of April 27, I have taken off the hats & scarves! It was 3 months after my last chemo treatment. My hair is very short (obviously), with a slight wave to it.. too early to tell if I'll get that chemo-curl that 50% of patients get.. but it did come back in my natural color (blonde) so I added some color to it to help it look a little thicker.. which is now washing out & getting lighter again..

Here are some celebration pictures (more to come):

The best margarita a girl could ever want:

Special friends with Jacklynn & James the day after my final treatment:

More special friends on May 3, 2006:

More celebrations are coming!

~Christine

Radiation: Complete!

After completing 2 lumpectomies, 2 months of bi-weekly then 12 weekly chemotherapy treatments and 33 daily radiation treatments I can finally say with a big sigh of relief, I’M DONE!!! (at least with the big stuff).

I am so thankful this part of my journey is over and I made it. What lies ahead is Herceptin infusions every 3 weeks until approximately November 2006. The Herceptin is easy, as I haven’t experienced any side effects (and probably won’t). I am still taking Tamoxifen as a hormone treatment, and those side effects are gradually subsiding (which are stiff joints & mood swings). My skin is healing very nicely from the radiation, it’s tanned, including a small part on my back, from the exit rays. My next Herceptin treatment is in 3 weeks and I’ll see my Oncologist in 6 weeks, the longest I have gone between doctor appointments.

Once again, I could not have made it without all the love and support that I received from the phone calls, Emails, cards, flowers, visits, dinners, time spent with Jacklynn & James, generous gifts and prayers.

Here are some pictures of the radiation treatment room (the machine was set up for my “boost”). The other picture is with Winnie, who got me through my last week of treatment (it was getting emotionally tough) so she offered to be there with me. I am so HONORED to have her support.

With Love & Gratitude...

~Christine

Radiation: 6th Week

So far I have completed 26 treatments, I have 2 regular treatments left, then 5 "boosts."
If all continues to plan, April 6th will be my last radiation treatment! I am getting pretty red, especially on my collar bone, so that treatment area has been postponed, but overall it's tolerable - I've had worst sunburns!

Yesterday, Monday, 3/27 I had an ultrasound to take measurements of the cavity where my tumor was. It will help the radiologist determine the settings of the final "boost" treatments.

Just over a week ago, 3/16 I had another echocardiogram to be sure my heart is still fine with the Herceptin.

Physical Update:
My toes are still fairly numb and some of my toenails have dark lines that are slowly growing out. My knees, hips and back aren't getting quite as stiff, so I think my body is adjusting to the Tamoxifen plus I've been trying to drink more water & walk more. I'm still experiencing hot flashes, mostly at night, but they aren't bothering me yet. My eyelashes are growing back pretty quickly, and my brows are suddenly start to fill in.. the hair on my head is slowly, but surely coming back too!

Emotional Update:
I'm still feeling overwhelmed. Last week I had a couple rough moments through treatment, and I'm not sure what specifically is causing me to be so emotional.. Maybe the shock of diagnosis is wearing off.. Maybe going from diagnosis, to surgeries, chemo & radiation without a break is catching up to me.. Maybe my hormones are wacky.. Maybe I have separation anxiety about being done with radiation (although I still have over a week left)..

I do know, "this too, shall pass"....

Radiation: 4rd Week

Things are sailing along smoothly!

I have completed 16 treatments and have experienced more itching and redness.. But, so far so good! I have about 18 more to go!

The Tamoxifen seems to be giving me a little more trouble though.. I'm still experiencing stiff joints, hot flashes, and some weird mood stuff: sometimes I feel pretty overwhelmed, which I'm hoping is just the adjustment of going back to work and spending all my lunches at Stanford..
I'm hoping the physical stuff will subside once my body gets used to the Tamoxifen.. I'm just not sure how long that will be!

Overall, life is good.. I still have my moments (which I know is diagnosis related, but also may have a little to do w/my moods), but I know in my heart, everything is going to be O.K.

~Christine

Radiation: 1st week

I have completed 6 sessions of radiation, 27 to go! The treatments are very quick (in & out in 30") and painless.
It's pretty early in the treatment, so no real complaints yet.. just some mild itching (probably because I have sensitive fair skin) and I've noticed only slight redness in some areas.

Here's a picture of me in 1 of the 3 positions used for treatment (the gown stays over my chest during the actual treatment):

A few more side effects from chemo:

"Chemo Brain" or my brain is short circuiting; I lose words in the middle of a conversation, I am misplacing things constantly (esp. my keys), we'd probably starve if I didn't keep a grocery list (even for 3 items) and I'm still a little overwhelmed in busy or high stress environments.

I finally lost a fingernail.. It's sensitive, but not as bad as anticipated.. I'm fairly sure the rest of my nails will be just fine.

I've lost all but 4 eyelashes (I have 2 on each eye now).

My joints/ligaments get stiff & pop a bit when I move them (maybe this is a sign of aging???)

Overall, I am doing better everyday.. the stuff mentioned above is relatively minor compared to what my body went thru recovering from surgery & chemo.

~Christine

Ready to Begin Radiation

I have completed the appointments to prep me for radiation which included the mold for my back, a CT scan, "blue dot" tattoos, and the plan verification using X-rays w/a simulator.. on Friday, February 17 the therapists did a "dry run" and I'm set to start my daily treatments tomorrow, February 21. The side effects that interested me are fatigue and skin redness (similar to a sunburn) .. I bought the recommended deodorant, aloe vera & prescription cream to help combat any major problems.

Today, February 20, 2006, I returned to work after being out of the office since October 2005. I'm one of the lucky ones who really enjoy working, especially with my current group. So, although I'm leaving the comfort of my couch and company of my kids and husband, I'm very happy to be back. Upon my arrival to my cube, I was greeted with purple streamers & twirly things with a sign saying "welcome back" ..here's a pic:

~Christine

Chemo Junk, Radiation & Hormone Therapy

Chemo Junk
My final chemo treatment was on January 26, 2006 and it was the toughest recovery of all. The fatigue set in, neurapathy got worse, more bone pain, and just the general junkiness seemed to linger. It's been 2 weeks, and except for my endurance, I'm finally starting to feel like myself again. I have been on an emotional rollercoaster, which is NORMAL reaction after completing chemo. It's overwhelming to think of what cancer has meant to me.. so with a little push, I have decided to seek the help of a counselor.

Radiation Therapy
Radiation is a follow up to the lumpectomies, it should destroy any cancer cells that may have been left behind during the surgery. I had a consultation with my radiation oncologist on February 2, who explained why I'm having radiation, and what to expect. On February 7, I had the 1st of 2 appointments to develop a treatment plan for radiation.
A mold was made of my back by laying on a large plastic bag filled about 1" thick with a warming gel substance. I will be using the mold during radiation treatments to be sure I'm laying in the exact same position each time. My tumor area was confirmed by a CT scan while still laying on the mold. I was then "tattooed" with 2 permanent dots to assist in lining me up so radiation would be administered in the exact area each visit. My treatments (standard for most breast cancer patients) will be Monday thru Friday, for just over 6 weeks. The next appointment is scheduled for February 16, and at that time the treatment plan will be confirmed. I should begin radiation treatment shortly there after (I'm guessing February 21, 2006).

Hormone Therapy
On February 9, I met with my medical oncologist to discuss "the next steps" in my treatment. Because estrogen is a factor in the growth of breast cancer, I have been prescribed Tamoxifen, which blocks estrogen receptors on cells. I was told about the side effects, but have decided they are worth the risk in order to prevent this cancer from recurring.

Future Screening
After radiation is complete, my medical oncologist and radiation oncologist will determine when to start screening for recurrence. Too soon, could result in a false-positive and an unnecessary surgery. Generally, screening is done every 6 months, then yearly. I have been scheduled for another (my 3rd) Echo Cardiogram for March, to be sure my heart is still handling the Herceptin with the dose-dense chemo I received. I will continue with the Herceptin, but every 3 weeks instead of weekly.

So now, I'm working on radiation and will continue updating as appropriate..

Below is a picture of a dinner celebration of my last chemo on January 26, 2006 with my Dad, brother Micky, Nicole, (me) and my Mom:




~Christine

15th Chemo: Taxol Complete!

My 15th and FINAL CHEMO was today, January 26, 2006.

For those counting, last week's treatment was skipped, and today I finished with a regular treatment (instead of a double treatment).

During & after my 14th chemo on Jan 12, problems developed: most of my fingers & toes had a "pins and needles feeling" (neuropathy) which turned painful, indicating a high toxicity level, 5 finger nails lifted (not related to neuropathy), and my thumb became infected (needing a little "procedure"). PLUS, my sinus congestion developed into a sinus infection. I was a mess.
My doctor prescribed 2 medications, then recommended skipping last week's chemo (I didn't skip the Herceptin though).

I have mixed feelings about skipping a treatment, I certainly don't want permanent damage to my nerves, yet I want to do everything I can to eliminate any cancer cells that may be lurking. It was tough news, but my doctor was convinced holding treatment was the right decision.

In addition to my own recent issues, both my Mom & Grandma were admitted to separate hospitals (pneumonia & hernia respectively) and both have been released and are recovering at their homes. After their returns, my brother Micky was diagnosed with walking pneumonia and also is recovering.

My recovery is going well, the antibiotic is doing its job, the infections cleared up, and my fingers aren't as painful, but my nails aren't too pretty & I can't hide them behind polish, but at least I'm not cringing when I use my hands. And most importantly, I was healthy enough to receive my final treatment.

The 2nd part of my cancer journey is finally over and I made it! I did it with the help of all my family and friends. Everyone's ongoing thoughts, prayers, calls, cards, Emails, IM's, gifts, generous gift certificates, dinners/nights out and entertainment with Jacklynn & James are very appreciated and will never be forgotten. I feel honored by the love and support I am receiving.

Moving forward:

Next week I have a consultation with the Radiation Oncologist to learn the details of radiation treatment.
I will also receive my final weekly dose of Herceptin, moving to an every 3 week basis after.

The following week I meet with my Medical Oncologist to determine "the Next Step" (hormone treatment). Should be interesting, because of my age, I will have several options available.

Now it's time to start celebrating.. I completed an important milestone in my journey!

Love & Gratitude,
~Christine

13th & 14th Chemo: Getting There!

My 13th treatment was on January 5th 2006..
My 14th treatment was today, January 12th 2006..
2 more to go.. if my fingers can take it!

...more reactions keep coming!

I was warned, as I get closer to the end, it gets a little tougher:

The side effects are starting on Fridays (instead of Saturdays) which are body aches/junky feeling and drowsiness (still tolerable).

Several fingers & toes have become quite sensitive, it's not just painful to touch things, but I'm dropping things and having problems picking things up. I'm feeling pretty clumsy. If my thumb becomes any more sensitive, my treatment may come to the end sooner than planned. What's concerning is that some side effects may be PERMANENT (although in "most cases" it's temporary, but I've learned not to count on being in the "most cases" category!) So the plan is to see what happens this week, if it gets worse, we'll reevaluate.

A less serious side effect I've noticed are marks/bruises in my finger/toe nails, not too attractive but at least it's cosmetic and can be hidden with nail polish. I was told in most patients the marks are black, but mine are dark red and just look like bruises.

Last week I learned that white blood cells can replenish quickly (in hours). Red blood cells take longer (over a week), which is why I'm receiving Procrit injections until I complete chemo. I'm also trying to be very careful not to get the flu again, as it was a major drain on my white blood count.

~Christine

11th & 12th Chemo: 4 To Go! But Who's Counting???

My 11th treatment was on December 22..
My 12th treatment was today, December 29..
4 more to go!!!

My 11th treatment (Dec 22) provided some excitement.. my white blood cell count dropped below the guideline for administering chemo, warranting a call to Jan (my oncology RN), who made the decision to continue on course & administer the treatment anyway. I'm not sure why I didn't receive Neulasta (builds white blood cells), so Diane, my Chemo RN, and I speculated Jan didn't want to ruin my Christmas; Neulasta causes bone pain, and it would have hit me on Christmas Eve and Day. I did have to promise to call if I developed ANY fevers because it could get serious. So I nervously waited for today.

Turns out that luck is on my side!!! Today, my 12th treatment (Dec 29), my white blood cell count somehow miraculously DOUBLED.. getting me out of the danger zone. I'll have a face to face appt w/my Doc next week & hopefully find out the details.

2005 has been a rough year, not just for me, and I'm glad it's almost over.

I'm wishing everyone Love, Peace & Happiness in the New Year.. I'm looking forward to many reasons to celebrate in 2006!

Love,
~Christine

9th & 10th Chemo: Way of Life

My 9th treatment was on December 8.
My 10th treatment was on December 15.
6 more to go!!!

I think my body has gone thru most of the big changes that chemo can dish out, and I think I got pretty lucky! I do still feel junky for a couple days, but it's tolerable. I don't think I'm going to lose all my brows or lashes and I think my coloring isn't too bad considering I'm overcoming anemia. As mentioned before, a major side effect is the fatigue, which may get worse, but I'm getting used to it, with the help from my beloved heating blanket.

My "premeds" have been reduced enough so I am able to drive myself to & from my treatments, which makes life so much easier!!! Company is still welcome, I'm there generally about 5 hours every Thursday (between blood draw, waiting for results, waiting for my chemo drugs & the actual infusion).

Overall, I think I'm finally adjusting to life during chemo. My reactions and the timings are much more predictable now and the light at the end of the chemo tunnel is getting much brighter!

Merry Christmas!

Love,
~Christine

7th & 8th Chemo: I'm Still Standin'!!!

My 7th treatment was on Friday, November 25 and
My 8th treatment was December 1st.
I was able to really enjoy Thanksgiving!!!

Here's my big boost:

I'm half way thru my chemo treatment!!!

I can't believe it, looking back it's going fast.. although the day to day stuff can kinda drag.. I'm really appreciating knowing I have so many people still rooting for me through this, and it has made a serious difference by making me emotionally stronger.

Here are the latest details w/my treatment: Good News. We're slowly reducing the "premed" drugs I'm getting to counteract any allergic reactions, that's a good thing because I was receiving a big dose of Benadryl (so big it's given via IV!) which has been making me really sleepy (I've become pretty comfortable getting chemo now.. lol). So after we get the Benadryl lowered, we'll work on Decadron. (I also receive Pepsid, Kytril & Tylenol)

I'm still anemic, but it seems the Procrit shots are kicking in, slowly but surely. ((side note: those shots flippin' hurt! I have a good tolerance for needles/pain, but even though my RN was going slow, I was starting to tear up!)).

I gave myself a pretty good scare this week when doing some research on anemia on the Internet.. I found a few articles stating that Breast Cancer patients who are anemic generally do not have good survival rates (although no supportive data was provided!), and that anemia can be a sign of more cancer (because cancer takes blood to multiply). Jan stated that my anemia was induced by the frequency/aggressiveness of my chemo treatment, and I have nothing to worry about. I'm taking a multivitamin w/iron and soon an iron supplement (Slo-Fe). Stupid Internet. Stupid Me. I shouldn't have let it get the best of me (again!).

These bouncebacks are about the same as the last couple treatments; sore hips, pelvis, quads & hamstrings, fatigue and recently a tingly/pressure type sensation in my fingertips & toes (very common for Taxol & reversible).
My worst times seem to start Saturday evenings, Sunday all day & subside Monday mornings.. it's all tolerable though, and I'm nowhere near quitting. YEAH!

I've been told the fatigue will probably get worse as the treatments continue, it's a "cummulative effect" and I will recover once I'm done w/chemo. Sitting still, conserving energy is how I'm getting thru this. I have never felt so helpless, but I keep telling myself (as well reminders from others) IT'S TEMPORARY! :) I'll return to my more helpful self sooner than we know it!

8 treatments down, 8 to go!!!

6th Chemo: No Prob!

I had my 6th of 16 treatments on November 17 w/no issues!!! I learned that when all goes to plan, I'm done within 5 hours! Thanks again Micky for the ride home!

Bounceback was just ok.. I found out last week that:

1) I had a sinus infection (antibiotics seemed to finally kill all those sinus problems I had been experiencing for the last 2+ months!!! AND, bonus: I got my taste buds back!)

2) I've become anemic, which explains a majority of the fatigue (& I mean, lots of sleep!!!). I received a shot of Procrit which will help slowly build up the red blood cells & if necessary they'll give me a blood transfusion.

I did have some bone/muscle ache in my jaw/pelvic bones/hip & hamstrings from the treatment, but just like Jan (my oncology RN) said, it was less pain than the previous treatment and Tylenol again did the trick.

Here's a pic of my Mom joining me on November 10 (this was the one that went until almost 10pm! Thank goodness she brought goodies!):

My next treatment is scheduled AFTER Thanksgiving, on Friday November 25, so I'll get an extra day to recover & ENJOY!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

Love,

~Christine

5th Chemo: 1st Treatment w/Taxol

I had my 1st of 12 Taxol treatments on November 10, without reaction! This is the drug known for reactions, and I got real lucky! The major glitch this time, was the misplacement of my lab tests, so my treatment was delayed several hours while the labs were redrawn.. my Mom & I didn't make it home until 10pm!

Thank you Winnie, for being there with Jacklynn & James, that means so much to all of us!!!

The bounceback, so far, hasn't been too bad.. some soreness & sleepiness, but nothing Tylenol & rest couldn't handle!

Here's a picture from Chemo #4, I had the honor of my Dad's company during my final AC treatment:

This online journal is written specifically with my daughter & niece in mind, so I want to be honest, for their sake. Although I'm doing fine right now, I wanted to mention that these past few weeks haven't been easy. My energy level has been pretty low and the sinus congestion is wearing me down, which makes it hard to keep up with all the important things in life, but I'm learning to accept it & realize this is temporary.. I have a lot to look forward to next year! I've also been fortunate enough to make it into work a few days, which has really helped my sanity, I couldn't ask for better coworkers/friends.

I wanted to say thank you again to everyone who has left messages checking on me.. Can't tell you how good it feels to be cared about, I will always remember this.

5 treatments down, 11 (weekly) to go!!!

Love,

~Christine

4th Chemo: AC Complete!!!

I completed my 4th & final treatment of AC (Adriamycin/Cytoxan) on October 27!

Bounceback this time has been tiring, but not as painful.. My chief complaint is the cough/sinus congestion... still! One of the side effects I wasn't expecting, but is working to my advantange, is losing my taste buds. It is so strange to eat and not taste.. it's taken the fun out of meals and is helping w/weight loss; which in my case, is not a bad thing!

Thank you to everyone who's hanging in there with me.. I really appreciate all the calls & cards (and the extra generosity from my Cisco friends, the gift certificates are WONDERFUL). All your special thoughts are really getting me through this!

Love,
~Christine

3rd Chemo & Medi Port: Complete!

I had my Medi Port put in on Oct 11, then completed WITHOUT ANY REACTIONS, my 3rd treatment.. Although unfortunately bouncing back from the chemo is another story!!!

The treatment took a bigger toll on my body and it took me much longer to bounce back this time. I felt the bone pain, body aches, fatigue, appetite loss and more sinus congestion.. all I can say is that it's chemo.. it's not supposed to be fun.

I have 1 more treatment of Adriamycin/Cytoxan, before switching to 12 weekly treatments of Taxol (or a similar drug, depending on reactions) along with Herceptin, which has been in the news lately.

Slowly but surely, I'm getting there.

This Captures What I'm Going Thru Perfectly

My Mom called me at 7:30am this morning, waking the household.. but after watching the story she wanted me to see.. it was well worth it.

Kelly Corrigan tells her Breast Cancer Survival story on the Today show.. I was captivated.

Below is a link to Kelly's website.. when looking through her pictures, in particular the one of the OR double doors and her thoughts of wanting her parents/husband, etc.. I had those SAME EXACT feelings..

Kelly really did a great job of documenting chemo.. I'll be able to confirm the radiation/herceptin treatments in the near future.. ;)

http://www.circusofcancer.org/index.html

Love,
~Christine

2nd Chemo & Physical Changes

Well,

I survived my 2nd chemo treatment!!! Literally!

I had more "reactions" to the chemo, including a more serious allergic reaction; the beginning of anaphylactic shock. Honestly, this scared the hell out of me, as well as Carolyn & my nurses. To help with the reactions, I will be receiving a Medi Port to help with access to my vein and lots of drugs prior to the next treatment. The "surgery" is scheduled for next week, just before my 3rd chemo treatment.

So, just shy of 2 weeks after my 1st treatment, my hair began to fall out in significant amounts. So the evening of my 2nd treatment, my brother (with some help) shaved it off. I'll have to confess, my Mom did not drop me on my head when I was an infant and the shape of my head is better than I imagined!

This last weekend, the recovery from the chemo treatment was a little harsher than the first. The anti-nausea meds are working, but are causing other side effects that can be just as annoying, so I'm hoping we can switch the drugs a bit. Thanks to Winnie, Jamie & Carolyn for our little Girl's Nite on Friday & to the Kingsbury's for taking the kids out on Sunday, they loved it, Kris got a break & I got some real rest!



Thanks again to everyone for all your support, as always, I couldn't get through this without all of you!!!!

1st Chemo: September 15, 2005

I completed the 1st of possibly 16 treatments on Thursday, September 15. We'll know more details about how many/how often further along in the treatment..

I thought the actual treatment went well.. I had a couple issues which kept my RN, Cathy, on her toes grabbing for more meds to combat the reactions, along with Kleenex because I started off pretty emotional... it's hard to write about getting ready for my 1st treatment & the unconditional support I have received especially from Carolyn, through all this.. I'm gettting all mushy & teary eyed thinking about it!

Anyways, here is a pic of me & my first treatment w/Adriamyicin (the chemo is red).. they have to manually inject "push" it into me (other chemos are done via IV drip)..

Here's Carolyn & me... by the day's end, we were both pretty loopy.. especially after we thought I was being psychosomatic (you know that contagious itch?), but in reality it was an allergic reaction.. I didn't think you were supposed to laugh so much during chemo, thank goodness we were about the only ones left in the center!



The days after the treatment were ok.. the first day after treatment was probably the best, I didn't notice any change in my energy level, but the following fews days my energy has been intermittent... I rest a lot during activities. ;)

Thanks again to everyone for all your support!!!

"I can do this!"

~Christine

Surgery Results: September 12, 2005

I've had some PC problems & unable to update my blog until now.. but I'm back online again!

If you need to reach me, please-please don't hesitate to call me:
Home: 408-262-6885
Cell: 408-806-8464

I'd be happy to send you my home address, just send me an Email: christinelahann@yahoo.com.

So, my results came in... There was no cancer found in either of my breasts!!!
The MRI may have shown swelling from my 1st surgery which caused the concern.

Between my last 2 surgeries, 17 lymph nodes were removed & 3 tested positive for cancer.
Not good, but not as bad as it could have been!

I'm back on track for chemotherapy, which will begin this Thursday, 9/15.
I will have a total of 8 "cycles" of chemo: outpatient, 3-6 hours a session, every other week to every 3rd week depending on recovery.

I was told by my doc not to worry about the flecks found on my lungs, half (if not more) of the general population have flecks which can be caused from colds, bronchitis, pneumonia, etc.. ;)

I found out my car should be ready this Friday or early next week, yay! I've had better rental cars, so I'm super excited to get my Jeep back!!! Here's a pic of the accident scene (that's my Jeep in the middle):

Thank you to all my Cisco friends & coworkers for the visit on 9/6 including dinner & the gift basket & for the flowers I received when I arrived home after the surgery.. It's way more than I could have ever expected! Your thoughtfulness means much to me! Jacklynn & James had a blast, for sure! I would love another visit soon!

Post Surgery: September 3, 2005

I was scheduled for out-patient surgery on Wednesday, 8/31 to :

• remove irregular tissue from my left breast
• remove the additional cancer in my right breast
• biopsy an enlarged lymph node in my right breast

Just before surgery, I had my 3rd MRI so the doc could insert wires that would guide the surgeon where to operate. The nice thing was that the MRI scanner used on this visit was an open tube so I didn't panic, like I did during the first MRI scan in the closed tube. In addition to the MRI, I had a mammogram prior to surgery.

For the real bad news:
The enlarged node was indeed positive for cancer cells, so additional tissue including the nodes were removed for further dissection, so I was kept overnite with a drain inserted (will have until next week).

I'll have to admit, after sampling several local hospitals, Stanford's one of my favorites.. the food wasn't the greatest (except the fruit!!!) but the room was nice & QUIET (esp. for a hospital)..
My next appointment is scheduled for Thursday, 9/8.. with all hopes I will receive the pathology results from surgery.

A more tiny bad news:
The results from my CT Scan came back with mixed results.. my liver is fine, but they saw some "tiny" flecks on my lungs. I need to reconnect with my oncologist, but from the sounds of it, they will take a "wait & see" approach since the spots were very tiny.

And it gets worse yet:
To make things more interesting, this afternoon I was in a car accident. I was hit from the rear & pushed into the car in front of me.. the damage appeared minor to my car, until I tried to drive.. the tail pipe was pushed into the tire, so it had to be towed. The guy who hit me had much more damage, his entire hood buckled along with his side fenders. The Mercedes SUV I was pushed into seemed to have minor bumper damage (comparable to my front end). There were no injuries reported at the scene.

But!
I am strong. And I know that "This too, shall pass."

Keep in Touch!!!
I know I haven't been the best at reaching out, I have been pretty overwhelmed, managing all that's involved with a cancer diagnosis. I really appreciate those of you who have contacted me, it means more than words can express to feel how much you care.

My 1st Journal Entry

I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma (breast cancer) on July 18, 2005.

Medical Update:
Procedures include so far: Fine Needle Aspiration, Mammogram, Chest Xray, Lumpectomy, MUGA scan (heart), MRI (both breasts) & CT scan (liver).

The MRI report indicates areas of concern in each of my breasts. I am scheduled for the lumpectomies tomorrow (which will be my 2nd cancer surgery). The MRI report also showed a small area of concern on my liver, and I am currently waiting for the results of the CT scan.

Future treatment plan for the breast cancer: lumpectomies, chemotherapy, radiation & hormone therapy. Timing is dependent on the outcome of each treatment.

Emotional Update:
Sure, I'm scared.. who wouldn't be? Thankfully, the prognosis looks good. Although there are aggressive factors, it was still caught early.

I couldn't get through this without the support of my family & friends. Words can't describe what this means to me, but my actions will. I will livestrong because of the support I have received.

Love,
~Christine